Sunday, July 03, 2005

Every good beginning...

So I decided to pop my journal cherry today. And while this will no doubt come as a relief to many, to some it will be met with pure dread.

And todays topic is song titles. It has come to my attention that today's generation of artists - irrespective of genre - have no creative qualities at all when it comes to labeling the tracks on their albums. A simple look at the iTunes top 10 for the end of June provides interesting reading. We have the simple, one word titles for those who cant handle multiple syllables ("Switch", Will Smith). Oooo, your so fresh Will.

Then we have those with supposedly creative spelling...("Dont PHUNK with My Heart", Black Eyed Peas). When did adding a PH make everything so much better? A certain dairy product company tried to link in with contemporary notions of 'coolness' with the seasoned version of their popular PHilly cheese, and if a rapper is to be legit this year, he needs to be PHat. (This is perhaps the exact reason as why Fat Joe has failed to have a successful solo career. There is not enough PH in his Fat.) Perhaps I am overlooking the basic aspect of such spelling...that it all links back to chemistry. Yes, the humble pH rating has finally crossed over, no longer neglected in the bargain bins of yesteryears labratories.

And finally then, we have the just plain banal ("We Belong Together", Mariah Carey). She married Tommy Mottola. Need I say more.

Now, as a child of a generation that favours thumbs for joypad play, I am supposed to sympathise with such tearful attempts at artistic license. Thank the god that you worship that there are older siblings to set those of us willing to expand our minds straight. It is only then we can truly appreciate some of the greats of song labeling. Here are some of my favourites from a weekend raid on my brothers collection:

Ed Kuepper - "Also Sprach The King Of Euro Disco"
The The (not strictly a song name, but a band whose creativity was obviously infinitely more superior than Kelly Clarkson)
Sucidal Tendencies - "I Saw Your Mommy"
Buzzcocks - "Ever Fallen In Love With Someone You Shouldnt Have?"
The Clash - "Julie's Been Working For The Drug Squad"

...and of course, The Ramones, who managed to find new and interesting ways to label songs by affixing the prefix "I Dont Wanna"
I Dont Wanna: "...Walk Around With You", "...Be Tamed", "...Be Learned", "...Go Down To The Basement".

And the contemporaries? Seminal Oz punk group Frenzal Rhomb come up with some classics ("Mum Changed The Locks" and "Genitals Are Funny" rate mentions), but because they failed to graduate top of their class on the latest reality pop idol show wiht blingin' music and PHat judges, they barely rate a mention.

So there you have it. We are missing out. And the world is worse for it.

And the picture? The Buzzcocks. Ha. I just said cock. Get over it.

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 11:11 PM :: 2 Comments:

Post / Read Comments