Monday, August 07, 2006

Yasmin's NOT Getting Married...



YASMIN'S NOT GETTING MARRIED!
Network Ten has left would-be bride Yasmin at the altar, canning its latest reality TV instalment, Yasmin's Getting Married, after just one week.

The show - playing cupid to find a young woman a husband - was dumped after a pitiful ratings debut.

Less than 800,000 viewers across five capital cities tuned in to watch the series premiere on Tuesday. Numbers dwindled to daytime levels by the end of the one-hour curtain-raiser.


But TV execs are not the heartless bunch we all expected them to be.
Yasmin will now have to resort to conventional match-making tactics to find a man. And when she does, Ten has agreed to foot the bill for her wedding.


BUT! That's not the best news. The show will be replaced by....FUTURAMA!

Life is so sweet right about now.

But, back to buisness. Can someone tell me the point of Daylight Saving? What does it actually achieve? We know we're getting extra daylight - don't you think we can tell that "oh, ok, last month it was dark at 7pm but its still light now at 8pm"?!

There was that funky little meeting between Australian premiers last week, where the Tassie leader - Lennon - said all the other states have got it wrong and it was about time we ALL started having daylight savings EARLIER. If we needed further proof our environment (or politics, pick one) is fucked up, here we are talking about more daylight in the middle (almost) of winter. Damn waking up at 6am and having it be light enough to do a jigsaw puzzle. I liked it better when it was dark as night - at least that confirmed it was a ridiculous time of the morning to get up.

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 10:40 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Friday, August 04, 2006

Multiple Little Rants

Rant 1 - 'Ranting About Ranting'
You remember how Bush-bashing used to be popular? US-bashing? Hanson-bashing? Well we have a new bashee. SILENT WHISPERS ON TV PROMOS-bashing! Everywhere I have turned in the past week - internetforums, public radio, commerical radio - I seem to be confronted with people saying "Oh, I hate how TV promos use that whisper to make their show sound cooler." Woop-ty-do. Surely there are bigger problems in the world, oh I dunno, something like WORLD PEACE?! Your fingers must soooo be on the cultural barometer for you to have had an original thought about that little TV promo. ITS JUST AN AD. We see hundreds of minutes of offensive ads on TV - from The Good Guys to the local chikcen shop - and you pick something with a shelf life of 20 seconds. I have a solution. DON'T WATCH FUCKING CRAP TEE VEE! You can quite ably get by with just ABC and SBS, so move on, we don't care.

Rant 2 - 'Prison Ships Are Cool...not'
The Australian Government has proved yet again that they cannot for the life of them remember the cultural and historical ties to the motherland, England. The new plan to tackle our current illegal immigrant 'crisis' (I use the term loosely), is to have a massive prison ship patrol our off shore near the top of the country and store 'illegals' without ever needing to return to the mainland for up to a month (Prison Hulks in classical Britain anyone?!). Not only that, the ships will have MACHINE GUNS! How cool?

Wait. What the hell do we need machine guns for? Most of the people who make the death-defying trip across the ocean to try and reach our shores are weak and emancipated enough as it is, and now you try and tell me we need MACHINE GUNS on these boats?!

The world's gone nuts!

/end rant.

Carry on.

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 9:31 AM :: 1 Comments:

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

We Aren't Happy


We aren't a bunch of happy chappys.

Who's we?

Us. People. The world in general.

Why aren't we happy is the real question. We have more iPods and mobile phones now than at any time previous in our history. We have internet access at the click of a button, providing us with all sorts of joys. We can cure most diseases. Our governments are largely nice to us.

And yet, starvation/persecution/suffering is as bad now as ever before. A kid living in poverty dies every three seconds. Personal debt is massive. A minority of the world population has a monopoly of the majority of the world's wealth. We have a greater incidence (and understanding) of depression and related illnesses.

Maybe thats what prompted the Brits to do this.

Some 2,000 pupils at English state schools are to have special classes in happiness under a pilot scheme aimed at cutting depression, self-harm and anti-social behaviour.


Happiness classes? But what about emos? Wouldn't this just be persecuting one 'sub-culture' of kids in favor of another? Discrimination at work again! There is no escaping it! Seriously though, ALL kids get depressed at some stage. It's called puberty. Since when did we have to bandage all our children up in bubblewrap to PROTECT them from themsleves and world at large. We CREATED the world at large as we are living in it (let's not get into creationist v religious debates here now shall we...) so why all of a sudden can't your little spawn cope? You too were probably once goth/punk/skinhead etc going through exactly the same things.

But there might be another way around it...how about BOTTLED HAPPINESS?!

Smiley - the world's first anti-depressant scent - has gone on sale. The unisex gragrance is on the shelve at upmarket UK cahin Selfridges, costing from $60 to $150. Swiss manufacturers Firmenich Laboratories say it contains micro-nutrients which have food altering benefits...


Ahhh. See, I think I'm picking up a theme here. The BRITS are the most unhappy people in the world. Could be the food...or maybe the fact their football team sucks more than a room full of Godfrey vacum cleaners...

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 11:56 AM :: 1 Comments:

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