Thursday, December 15, 2005

And you were doing so well Germaine...

You know, I was almost to the point of agreeing with Germaine Greer.

Greer, it seems, is the Guardian Unlimited's expert special reporter on all things Cronulla beach-race riots. And make some good points, did she, about how Australia is no more racist than any other nation while decrying the labels and incorrect stereotypes that the evil evil (right...) Australian media has helped foster. Score 1 for Germaine, particularly versus Alan Jones.

Then, she spouted this rubbish:

...Lebanese Muslim youths, inspired by rap, ablaze with bling, armed to the teeth in their customised cars...

But wait! Australia is a tolerant, multicultural society! We do not revert to unfortunate stereotypes...oh. Right, I forgot. Only if it SERVES OUR INTEREST. Of course, how silly of me. Germaine, pray tell HOW YOU KNOW that Muslim youths in Australia are inspired by rap? How many? Can you list them? It's like saying that every murderer has undoubtedly been influenced by heavy metal because IT IS THE WORK OF SATAN. Riiiiggght. I am sure there is quite a number of them that listen to Vivaldi, Gershwin and even Robbie Williams. God forbid a Robbie inspired "horde" (i.e. more than two people by current reporting standards) descends on our beaches!

Don't even get me started on the 'bling'. Another stereotypical phrase that, increasingly, non African Americans are appropriating as their own. First we take their land, now we take their language...great. So this is evolution.

Grrrrr! Hissss! Apease the baying masses and let slip the dogs of war! We are the puppet people...put it on our TV and it's true...

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 6:01 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Kicking It To The Man

Barbara Streisand kicks it to the man! Would YOU be so BOLD as to cancel your newspaper subscription because they SACKED SOMEBODY?! I THOUGHT NOT, ROOKIE!

Sadam THINKS he is kicking it to the man. Instead the put a chair on trial. Silly Sadders!

Former Maylaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir continues to kick it to the man...ooops, sorry, Australia. How dare we try to link more closely with Asia! Sure, the Man of Steel may not be everyone's cup of tea, but we bring lammingtons!

Barnaby Joyce is trying desparately to kick it to the man. But no one will stand with him. STAND UP AND BE COUNTED, ROOKIE! HOOO HAH!

Speaking of kicking it to the man, check out Public Enemy. The kick it to the man every day of the week. As we all should.


Posted by Dave The Hat :: 12:03 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The Death Of Something Big

The final curtain just fell on Queensland's favourite BIG THING, Kevin "Big Kev" McQuay. We salute you!

We salute your cleaning products (goddamn that goo remover is good)...
We salute your "I'm EXCITED" catch phrase...
We salute your appaling taste in shirts...
We slaute your attempt at pies, money lending and property...

We may have the Big Bananna, the Big Mango and the Big Shrimp, but none had the personality of Big Kev, the man who could beat down Big Gay Al with his thumb.

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 11:23 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Monday, December 05, 2005

50 Cent Continues To Be My Muse

What Would Tyler Durden Do?

It's an age old question, pondered by social commentators, philosophers and rugby fly-halfs alike. But they need not look further than here. Witty social commentary, that's apparently what Tyler Durden would supply to our world if his soap business went under. I have to say I giggled and gasped at this story about 50 Cent:
50 Cent is said to have earned 500,000 dollars for less than 30 minutes work at a Bat Mitzvah for the daughter of multi-millionaire David H. Brooks. Brooks, who ironically made his money in the body armor industry, paid a total of 10 million dollar for the days entertainment, who also included Nelly, Ciara, Tom Petty, Stevie Nicks, Joe Perry and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, Joe Walsh and Don Henley of The Eagles, Kenny G and DJ AM for the party held at the Rainbow Room in New York City.

Damn. Who would have thought that Fiddy and *G-G-G UNIT* would be so family, kiddie and religiously conscious. I take it back. Obviously his movie is going to reflect his inherent socially aware values, with panaoramic shots of Fiddy doing baloon animals, Fiddy helping older ladies across the street and Fiddy mowing lawns for his neighbours. Awwwww. He just makes you want to go and hug a puppy...

But poor girl. She's set up now, for a life of misery and failure. Every big occasion she has to celebrate will never be as special, never be as loud and shiny, never be as STREET as a Bat Mitzvah with Israel's favourite son, Fiddy.

So WHO is Tyler Durden I hear some of you uncultured swine ask? I refer thee to Fight Club which, conincidently, cracked the top 10 of Australia's most loved film last night, hosted by none other than the saucy mynx that is Margaret Pomeranz. Rrrrrrrrrr! Oh Margaret, if only you could see that you're spending too much time with the wrong David! It should be ME! Only ME! Come, babble incoherent movie speak to ME!

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 4:01 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Sunday, December 04, 2005

Musings of a Sunday Morning

- Johnny The Homicidal Maniac is NOT good bed time reading if you want to just slip easily away into a nice peaceful slumber

- Capital punishment...what is up with that?

- Thrombo Phlebitis is something you don't want. It's actually not something to do with a throbbing flea bite but more of an inflamation of the vein. Not impressed.

- Domino. Something kinda like Traffic. Bit edgy, bit chaotic, bit repetitive (yes, we GET that she's a bounty hunter, move on). But really quite cool when you get down to it. Interesting characters and plot twists as well as some pretty cool editing...and if someone tells you otherwise, tell them to go watch the latest Lindsay Lohan flop as that might be something they can keep up with.

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 11:43 AM :: 2 Comments:

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