Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Long time readers may remember the intrepid explorations of musicals a la Fatboy Slim some time last year. Well, in news fresh from Yahoo Entertainment, it would appear that lovers of Greek tragedy and urban music everywhere will enjoy the marriage of the two in a new musical called "The Seven."

A quick plot synopsis reveals that Oedipus, the legendary Greek king who killed his father and married his mother, was "the original gangsta" and a "mack daddy" who looked like James Brown.

"The Seven" is an updated version of Aeschylus's tragedy "Seven Against Thebes," the story of the two sons of Oedipus who take up arms against each other after he curses them.
Yep, sounds pretty 'gangsta' to me. Young rappers will rhyme over any backing these days...The musical numbers supposedly feature hop-hop, 1970s funk, R&B, gospel and blues...while the reviewer believes that Oedipus has a distinct air of James Brown.

Though wait a minute parents! The play is also educational!

The program for the play includes a glossary explaining that "mack daddy" is slang for "a pimp; or a man who is popular with the ladies," and that Homer was the author of epic poems "The Iliad" and "The Odyssey" before he became a cartoon character on "The Simpsons."

Narrated by a DJ and with flashbacks to the legend of Oedipus for the benefit of those not familiar with Greek mythology, the play has won good reviews since opening this month at a 188-seat off-Broadway theater. The fast-paced script mixes gags about Trojans (ancient people and condoms) and Apollo (a Greek deity and a Harlem concert hall) with serious moments such as when the fearful people of Thebes lament the war about to engulf their city.

So I thought it only appropriate to post pictures of the original and the greatest Mack Daddy in Slick Rick. Oh, and the classic engraving below him is Oedipus and The Sphinx. Just in case you were confused.

Ahh, hip hop theatre. How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 2:19 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Bloody ripper.

Quick poll. Is 'bloody' a so-called member of the Naughty Words Group?

Prime Minister John Howard has praised the new advertising campaign by Tourism Australia, which features a cheeky tag-line. The new advertisements feature ordinary people in some of Australia's most well-known places, offering a unique invitation: "So where the bloody hell are you?"

All this, after our illustrious Prime Minister came out and said that there had been a widespread deterioration in good manners across the country. What the journo reports didn't say was that Mr Howard was also pleased that our tourism industry was putting across a particular image that reinforces stereotypes for overseas visitors. Great. So now they'll ALL think we're bogans who ride kangaroos to work and keep wombats as pets.

In other news, we here at Hat Musing HQ have been counting beans all night and yes, we did pass 1000 visitors. Yay for us. We think you should all bake us cakes and send them to an address upon request. We also accept chocolate and fairy bread.

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 8:24 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

Post 90/On My Way To Hip Hopularity?

Apparently I have MAD SKILLZ (the Z is compulsory). I can't help that I'm dope.

The RapCella.Com is an Aussie based hip hop site with an extensive nay exhaustive quiz of hip hop trivia. Prizes for being in the top 10 at months end. With a week to go, has our hero timed his run to perfection???!!!

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 8:31 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Haven't done a totally mindless post for a while with some crazy/insane/inane/boring links (circle appropriate, but don't blame me for stuffing up your nice LCD screen with a ball point pen). So here we go:

The World's Smallest Web Site:
including, quite probably, the world's smallest game of pong.
UUUHHHGGG-rrrr! Beacuse even Chewy the Wookie needs to blog...
The Greatest XBox Ad In The History of Xbox Ads: yes it was banned. No, I don't understand either.
The Museum of Burnt Food: Now taking new entries...

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 10:40 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Friday, February 17, 2006

Moguls; more than bumps in the dirt

Today, the attention span of the average voting Australian has been occupied by the thoughts of moguls. Yes, its moguls moguls moguls down here at the moment!

First off we have Dale Begg-Smith, newly crowned Olympic Champion of skiing's mogul event, another of these events that requires you to leave your fears at the door before downing a healthy pot full of insanity. And I love it.

For the uninitiated, moguls are the little frozen bumps in the snow that crazy skiiers hurtle around on their way to stupidly ridiculous twists and flips. However, we were not just looking to the slopes for our mogul fixation this week. Today was the state commemorative service (tax payer funded of course) for Kerry Packer, media mogul. Alas, to my dissappointment, this does not mean that he was a little heaped mound in the landscape that people have to avoid, though it wouldn't be too far from the truth.

Just another point on Mr Begg-Smith. Nice guy, relaxed, cool dude, drives a good car (in Montreal, that is), mysterious charm, lives in Melbourne. These are all good points. But how is it that he gets citizenship ahead of 5 doctors from the middle east claiming political asylum? Yes kids, its further proof that our government values sporting ability and potential achivement above qualified professionals in a field of expertise we are desperately lacking in. Imagine how that meeting would have gone:

Department of Immigration Lackey (aka DIL): Sir, this weeks applications include three Iraqi doctors, a number of Afghani engineers and a Canadian skiier.
Immigration Honcho: Cool. Rubber stamp the skiier and send the rest to detention for a few years.
DIL: Uh, sir? We are desperately short of doctors and engineers...not to mention we only have snow for 3 months a year in a good season...
IH: Whatever. We are a population of sports jocks. The kids will love it. Rubber stamp the skier. And while you're at it, get his siblings out here too. Kid's gotta have some company, we don't want him lonely.

I bet you that if any of these Middle Eastern countries had a Ski Program - wait, make that just SNOW - we would see MORE professionals here.

And the real clincher? The Australian media and pollies alike are absolutely throwing themselves prostate at his feet and begging for his acceptance; a sign of agreement that yes, even though he holds Australian citizenship (and has done for more than 5 years) he does consider us 'home'. It's like a pornstar bending over naked, leaning against a wall and asking if we like her ass. Embarassing, but at least the pornstar is a little cute...

Anyways, besides all that, the guy is a total dude and skies like a ninja, so as Monty Python once sang, "always look on the bright side of life!"

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 6:08 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Thursday, February 16, 2006

New York, New York

Lets play a game of hypotheticals.

Let's say you were mayor of a major American city, and were conducting a tour/photo op/ass kissing PR exercise of one of your city offices. It is obviously very important to show both workers and world press alike that you are no GIRLY MAN and that YOU MEAN BUSINESS. To prove such a point, do you:

a) Throttle a nearby kitten before hurling it at the cieling fan,
b) Challenge a surprised toddler to a stapler duel, or
c) Fire an office assistant for having the audacity to be playing Solitare.

Which would you choose?

Take a second and think.

By the miracle of the internet, I now bring you the TRUE story of New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg who ordered that one of his office assistants - on a paltry $20k odd awage - be fired for having Solitare running in the background of his computer. Why Why WHY MR BLOOMBERG?! To what point does this serve, except your own maniacal glee at having your finger on the "fire" button for every local government employee in the state. "The workplace is not an appropriate place for games," Bloomberg said. "It's a place where you've got to do the job that you're getting paid for." Sure. That nasty Bill Clinton set such a bad example for people wanting to get paid for not doing work. And you mean to tell me that HE's NEVER done anything extra-curricular in his office?! Riiiiigghttt.
Office assistant Edward Greenwood IX was going over some papers at his desk as Bloomberg made the rounds with his photographer, greeting workers and posing for pictures. When the mayor reached him, Greenwood stood, they shook hands and the photographer snapped a photo.

But the eagle-eyed mayor - a billionaire former businessman with a certain idea of how offices should be run - noticed Greenwood's game of solitaire glowing on his screen. He said nothing about it to Greenwood but later told an aide to give him the ax.

So he didn't even do it in person? Now when I was just a young 13 year old, I often got mates to ask out girls for me because I was too chicken. Now that, I think, is understandable behaviour. But if he felt SOOOO strongly this anti-solitare sentiment - maybe he just wasn't hugged enough as a kid - why didn't he do it himself?

Greenwood, who earned $27,000 a year and had worked in the office for six years, said in a telephone interview that he limited his play time to his one-hour lunch or during quick breaks when he needed a moment of distraction.

"It wasn't like I spent hours and hours a day playing, because I had plenty to do," Greenwood said. "If I had been working at something exhaustively for two hours, I might get a cup of coffee and play for a minute but then go right back to my work."


Posted by Dave The Hat :: 4:06 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Thursday, February 09, 2006

It's called NATURAL SELECTION for a reason, kids!

Boo Boo is quite possibly the ugliest chicken in existence, from what I can tell of the small photo. However that did not stop a retired nurse from giving the damn thing "mouth-to-beak" resuscitation after the chook was found floating face down in the family pound.

Oh, and the chicken is called Boo Boo because

she is easily frightened. The Calhouns thought Boo Boo was startled and flopped into the pond.

Okayyyy. So a neurotic bird scared itself to death. You don't think bringing it back to life was going to be scary enough for the chicken??? We subscribe to the theory of natural selection for a reason! What about the chickens quality of life? Sure, it may be cute to scare Boo Boo with water pistols, whoopee cushions and all sorts of tricks...but would you do it to a neurotic grandparent hooked up on life support in the hospital? Of course not! Stop the Oppression of Chickens! Free The Chickens! Viva La Fowl Revolution!

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 11:02 AM :: 1 Comments:

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Monday, February 06, 2006

Hat List Update: February

The month changed last week. So my music tastes obvsiously changed. Thus, The Hat List is now updated, so please feel free to scrolly scrolly scroll down the left hand side here and find yourself some more good music that is above and beyond anything you will see on American Idol. Currently, the list includes a token rapper, a weird sounding british band, a new release from a popular band, a silly album about medicine, a group named after dancehall anxiety and finally, a CD by The Coolest Dude On The Planet.

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 8:45 PM :: 0 Comments:

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I went missing, but found myself

So I have been absent. And in Bendigo. Both at the same time. Why Bendigo, I hear the masses bray? Well, I had *another* WORK TRIAL! (aka non-paid labour, aka volunteering for slavery-in-a-suit). This time, I hit the shiny new offices of the Bendigo Advertiser. Got five stories published too, in my two days. To which my sister-in-law remarked "Wow, it looks like a real article."

Well, yes, I should bloody well hope so. It IS a real article. There, look, in news print in one of the states biggest regional dailies. And after three years of a journalism degree, I should really hope it is "real".


So no job offer as yet. I am being told to wait and see, so I'm thinking my chances are still 50/50...obviously I didn't get a job offer then and there. If nothing else, I get my name in "real" print, in a "real" newspaper. It's not all glitz and glamour folks. Take this sample of what I typed while waiting for an interview subject to call back:

I do wish this lady would hurry up and call back, it is driving me nuts waiting, and I dont want to start anything else until it is wrapped up. Crazyness. And I have a blister on my heel which sucks if you dont like blisters. I dont happen to be a huge fan of blisters, but that doesnt mean I hate them. Sure, I wouldnt take one out to tea or home to meet The Mum, but I am not going to condemn them as bi-products of the sulfur pits in Hell. Now, diahorrea on the other hand...

But journalism is a fantastic little gig. You get to surf the net for "stuff" which you then write about...and apparently get paid for! For instance, whilst "researching" and cataloging my moist towlette collection, I found Find-A-Grave! Imagine, millions of cemetery records at your fingertips! Just think of the possibilities! You too can find out the intimate details of the birthing and subsquent death of famous (and infamous) people around the world! Trivial Pursuit will be your poppy field of paradise from now on; quiz nights will see you dominate the Who Am I section.

Or, if you would rather not think about all of that, go to Stare Down Sally. Guess what you have to do? Stare...Sally...Down. Do you have Eyeballs of STEEL?!!!!

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 8:21 PM :: 2 Comments:

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