Friday, February 17, 2006

Moguls; more than bumps in the dirt

Today, the attention span of the average voting Australian has been occupied by the thoughts of moguls. Yes, its moguls moguls moguls down here at the moment!

First off we have Dale Begg-Smith, newly crowned Olympic Champion of skiing's mogul event, another of these events that requires you to leave your fears at the door before downing a healthy pot full of insanity. And I love it.

For the uninitiated, moguls are the little frozen bumps in the snow that crazy skiiers hurtle around on their way to stupidly ridiculous twists and flips. However, we were not just looking to the slopes for our mogul fixation this week. Today was the state commemorative service (tax payer funded of course) for Kerry Packer, media mogul. Alas, to my dissappointment, this does not mean that he was a little heaped mound in the landscape that people have to avoid, though it wouldn't be too far from the truth.

Just another point on Mr Begg-Smith. Nice guy, relaxed, cool dude, drives a good car (in Montreal, that is), mysterious charm, lives in Melbourne. These are all good points. But how is it that he gets citizenship ahead of 5 doctors from the middle east claiming political asylum? Yes kids, its further proof that our government values sporting ability and potential achivement above qualified professionals in a field of expertise we are desperately lacking in. Imagine how that meeting would have gone:

Department of Immigration Lackey (aka DIL): Sir, this weeks applications include three Iraqi doctors, a number of Afghani engineers and a Canadian skiier.
Immigration Honcho: Cool. Rubber stamp the skiier and send the rest to detention for a few years.
DIL: Uh, sir? We are desperately short of doctors and engineers...not to mention we only have snow for 3 months a year in a good season...
IH: Whatever. We are a population of sports jocks. The kids will love it. Rubber stamp the skier. And while you're at it, get his siblings out here too. Kid's gotta have some company, we don't want him lonely.

I bet you that if any of these Middle Eastern countries had a Ski Program - wait, make that just SNOW - we would see MORE professionals here.

And the real clincher? The Australian media and pollies alike are absolutely throwing themselves prostate at his feet and begging for his acceptance; a sign of agreement that yes, even though he holds Australian citizenship (and has done for more than 5 years) he does consider us 'home'. It's like a pornstar bending over naked, leaning against a wall and asking if we like her ass. Embarassing, but at least the pornstar is a little cute...

Anyways, besides all that, the guy is a total dude and skies like a ninja, so as Monty Python once sang, "always look on the bright side of life!"

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 6:08 PM :: 0 Comments:

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