Monday, October 31, 2005

Advanced Simplicity? I think not!

My father did something commendable, but ultiamtely fruitless, today. He bit the bullet and bought a new printer to replace our "worn out" (see: less than five years old) Canon Bubblejet. He went for the ultra swish Canon Pixma ip4200! I know! I have to tell you, it looks plenty nifty, all black and sleek like some sort of stealth bomber. Kudos goes to the packaging as well, but I have a real problem with the labelling. The Canon catch-cry is 'Advanced Simplicity' but I fail to see what's so simple about the fact that you sell a USB connectivity device WITHOUT A USB CABLE! Oh sure, it's clearly marked that "USB Cable Not Included", but what is the friggin' point? Someone in Cannon R&D must REALLY hate people:
R&D Monkey 1:...and finally they get the USB Cable.
R&D Monkey 2: I don't think they should.
R&D Monkey 1: Why not?
R&D Monkey 2: We've made the setup too easy. It is ADVANCED simplicity after all. The muppets who buy this need a challenge.
R&D Monkey 1: But isn't that just an irritating lack of inclusion?
R&D Monkey 2: Perhaps. I'd like to think it is ADVANCED irritation.
R&D Monkey 1: By the grace of inkjets YOU'RE RIGHT!

Seriously, I like Cannon printers. They do a nice pretty job, and we were happy with our other one until it got "old". But Cannon employees, if you are reading this, NOT having a USB cable is a real pain in the arse. A big one. We really did toss up whether just to drive back to the store half an hour away just to return it. It's the equivalent to sitting on fifteen bees while smearing your cheeks with honey. Not a good idea. Comprende?! I knew you would understand.

Speaking of advanced simplicity, hasn't eBay been a revelation over the past few years. I mean, where else could you post semi-naked pictures of your wife as payback for her cheating on you?! Nowhere but eBay, jewel of the Internet. While we're on the topic of sex (it always happens doesn't it?!)...Halloween Costumes. For those of you who feel the need to dress up and share the shit out of people, think before you leave the house. You never could be sending the 'wrong signals'...and you could be the one that ends up scared and scarred.

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 11:28 PM :: 3 Comments:

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