Sunday, October 02, 2005

Gear Grinding Volume 1

It's quite late and I am on the verge of major procrastination from my thesis. And its about time we went all verbal-postal, Peter Griffin style. This could be angry and I said, I'm a snowball of procrastination...

Do You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?
Lame slogans on tshirts and jumpers. You think you're the first person to wear that thing? THEY ARE MASS PRODUCED FOR A REASON! That's right...millions of idiot people just like you have already brought one. Bad slogans on tops are like temporary tattoos and, increasingly, ring tones. Funny once, but after the 80th fucking time of seeing/hearing it....ohhhh boy. Better be out of line of sight or ear shot when someone with an attention span greater than a fruit fly comes walking past. So no, it's not funny to wear a hoody which has the following slogan printed on the front:

You have been a bad girl. Go to my room.

Seriously, are you that convinced you need to exercise the use of your malformed, lame excuse for a Y-chromosome in that way to try and score yourself someone who has the IQ of an unwashed petrie dish? Please.

And for all you people wearing a jumper with THAT photo on it - be proud to know that you are in fact NOT revolutionary. In any way. Or punk. Or EMO (another rant there, but I digress). Do you really think that Che would be wearing a top with his head on it? No! And no, he would not be wearing no Dominique Wilkins-Atlanta Hawks throwback jersey either. Do you what he would be wearing? KHAKI GREENS! That's because he was in a military coup. Go look up that word; it should have come in the dictionary that would be nigh on compulsory for people such as yourself to have, when even contemplating buying that shirt. You want to be really revolutionary? Go and get yourself shot at. That's what happened to Che. That's what happened to the Jacobin's in the French Revolution. And do you think that Lenin had it easy? Buh buh! Thanks for playing. What have we got for you as a memory of your time here on our show? A great big "GET SOME NEW MATERIAL" and "IT'S ONLY FUNNY UNTIL YOU GET HURT...THEN ITS HILARIOUS!"

Posted by Dave The Hat :: 12:44 AM :: 2 Comments:

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